ChatGPT picks the best Town team of all time
Matt Shaw, Founder.
Twitter: @TTCMatt
They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious
(So come on)
Interchanging mind control
Come, let the revolution take its toll
If you could flick the switch and open your third eye
You'd see that we should never be afraid to die
(So come on)
Rise up and take the power back
It's time the fat cats had a heart attack
You know that their time's coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend
(So come on)
What is that I hear you ask? What the f*@% is ChatGPT? Well, yes, fair question. ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot developed by OpenAl (are you with me?). Although the core function of a chatbot is to mimic a human conversationalist, ChatGPT is versatile. It can write and debug computer programmes, mimic the style of celebrity CEOs and write business pitches, compose music, teleplays, fairy tales and student essays, answer test questions (sometimes, depending on the test, at a level above the average human test-taker) and a whole host of other things that I can’t be bothered copying from Wikipedia. Overall, it means friendless pillocks like me can use it to talk to themselves, and that is precisely what I have done.
Before we get going, I just want you to bear in mind that sometimes the answers that ChatGPT gives can be a touch on the wild side.
Stats and heritage numbers are from the HTSA Heritage website, it’s well worth checking btw.
Ok, so it looks like ChatGPT is preprogrammed with a ‘cop out’ function but let’s get going!
Herbert Chapman
Ok, interesting start ChatGPT. Yes, Herbert Chapman is arguably (not that arguable) Huddersfield Town’s greatest manager of all time, but the great man never donned the boots to play for The Terriers. Still, he is in the side as player-manager and since ChatGPT hasn’t picked a goalkeeper either, he’s in the sticks. Who said this technology would replace human input? You’ve a long way to go yet, Skynet!
Town Appearances: 0.
Town Goals: 0.
Denis Law CBE
HTSA Heritage number: 370.
Now we’re talking ChatGPT! Look at that Brylcream! Fabulous. Now, there is an argument that Denis Law achieved greatness AFTER leaving Huddersfield Town and that there are more worthy players to pick who achieved more in the blue and white stripes but I’m willing to give the AI some slack on this one. Making his debut as a 16 year old in 1956, ‘The Lawman’ signed for Man City in 1960 for a British record transfer fee of £55,000. Town being Town used that money to buy some floodlights that blew down a few weeks later…
Town Appearances: 91.
Town Goals: 19.
Ray Wilson MBE
HTSA Heritage number: 354 = (355)
The only debate to be had with Ray Wilson is not whether he’s Town’s best left back of all time but whether he’s the best English left back of all time. Yet it could have been different had the great Bill Shankly not converted the then nimble forward to left back. Once converted there was no looking back as Wilson went on to make 63 caps for England. Well done ChatGPT, you nailed this one, humanity is under threat!
Town Appearances: 283.
Town Goals: 6.
Sir Andy Booth
HTSA Heritage number: 614.
ChatGPT LIKES TO BOOTH IT! BOOTH IT! On the net where ChatGPT was born lives a man called Andy Booth, and he’s a bloody Town legend! There’s nothing I can write about Boothy that people haven’t heard or reverently expressed several times over. The man is a Huddersfield folk hero and a bloody good bloke to boot. He also did the warm up show with Brady and Tom recently.
Town Appearances: 457.
Town Goals: 150.
William Henry (Billy) Smith
HTSA Heritage number: 123.
The AI is knocking it out of the park now. No Huddersfield Town ‘Best of’ compilation is complete until the man from Tantobie makes an appearance. Smith holds the record for the most appearances in a blue and white shirt as well as being the all-time top scorer. Smith was the first ever footballer to score direct from a corner and by the time he’d hung up his boots after 21 years’ service he had 3 England caps, 1 FA Cup Winners medal, 3 Division 1 championship medals, 1 Charity Shield medal and had even sired a replacement in his son Conway Smith. If any former player deserves a statue at the ground, it’s this man.
Town Appearances: 574.
Town Goals: 126.
Frank Worthington
HTSA Heritage number: 414.
I still have hugely fond memories of the game in 2003 between The Huddersfield Town All Stars v The Wembley Wizards. Twenty minutes into the game, the crowd buzz had lulled and the ex players on show had slowed to a more favourable pace. Frank Worthington had just about turned up and after a few impromptu kickups in the car park, he made his way to the bar for a swift pint. Five minutes later, Frank was on the pitch and whilst in his defensive third, he pirhouetted before juggling the ball onto his neck and running the full length of the field to rapturous applause and laughter. Even at 55 years of age and a couple of pints deep, Frank’s touch and vision was incredible. Unfortunately, some shithouse called Phil Senior rudely saved the great man’s penalty which would have capped off an incredible performance. Charity penalty aside, Frank was an integral part of Town’s promotion to the top flight in 1970 and to this day is still revered as a Town great.
Town Appearances: 192.
Town Goals: 48.
Steve Kindon
HTSA Heritage number: 512.
ChatGPT has plucked out one of Huddersfield Town’s all time cult heroes in Steve Kindon. We interviewed Steve back in 2021 and we encountered a lovely, warm man with a razor-sharp wit and a great sense of humour, and he could play a bit too! Our episode is worth checking out with Steve having numerous stories. Back in 1979, he was the icing on Mick Buxton’s promotion winning cake plundering 14 goals in 23 games as Town won the old Division 4, scoring 101 goals in the process. The following season ‘Kindo’ would top score with 19 goals before injury curtailed what was a whirlwind playing spell with The Terriers.
Town Appearances: 82.
Town Goals: 37.
Kevin McHale
HTSA Heritage number: 358.
It’s been a while since ChatGPT threw us a curveball and it’s maybe thrown a little one here. Outside Right Kevin McHale isn’t always thought of when you see lists of the best Huddersfield Town players of all time, but maybe he should be. McHale joined Town as a 16-year-old back in 1956 and would go on to play 375 games putting him in 11th place in Town’s all time top appearance makers. McHale would form a devastating partnership with fellow Town youngster Denis Law and to independent observers it was thought of as one of the finest right attack pairings in British football. An under the radar win for ChatGPT.
Town Appearances: 375.
Town Goals: 68.
Andy May
HTSA Heritage number: 562 = (563)
Just when you think that ChatGPT is nailing it, cyborgs are taking over the world and I can get this thing to do my job for me whilst I sit in my garden enjoy the sunshine of the summer you get… Andy May. Now, this is nothing against Andy May, he was a pretty decent midfielder but ahead of the likes of Aaron Mooy, Jimmy Nicholson, Ken Willingham and Bill McGarry? Get in the sea ChatGPT! Andy May is probably most famous in Town circles for scoring the 1 in Town’s 10-1 defeat to Man City. Not a good day, not a good pick either really.
Town Appearances: 138.
Town Goals: 6.
Marcus Stewart
HTSA Heritage number: 662 = (665)
ChatGPT you had some making up to do and you’ve totally redeemed yourself! Growing up Marcus was a hero of mine, his touch, poise and footballing IQ were light years ahead of what had come before him and over 4 seasons as a terrier, Stewart endeared himself to the Town faithful with 68 goals, some zany celebrations and off field craziness.
Last year we received the awful news that Marcus Stewart was diagnosed with MND. Marcus is currently raising funds for the Darby Rimmer MND Foundation, if you wish to donate you can do so here.
Town Appearances: 160.
Town Goals: 68.
Peter Doherty
HTSA Heritage number: 302
No, not the brown fingered Libertines front man but one of Northern Ireland’s finest players of all time. Before likely lad George Best burst onto the scene, the biggest name to come from Northern Ireland was Peter Doherty. Not one to look back into the sun, the skilful left winger was 33 when he joined Huddersfield Town in 1946 but the Magherafelt native still managed 36 top flight goals across 3 seasons before going on to Doncaster where he would score 56 goals in 103 games. Of Doherty, England international Len Shackleton said; "Peter Doherty was surely the genius among geniuses. Possessor of the most baffling body swerve in football, able to perform all the tricks with the ball, owning a shot like the kick of a mule, and, with all this, having such tremendous enthusiasm for the game that he would work like a horse for ninety minutes.” A fine choice ChatGPT
Town Appearances: 87.
Town Goals: 36.
Overall, it’s a fairly solid effort from AI software albeit it looks like SKYNET isn’t quite ready to take over the world just yet... ChatGPT selected 1 manager, 2 left wingers and 4 strikers amongst the starting XI. Had this being picked by a human being then the balance of positions picked would have been better with the likes of Roy Goodall, Tommy Wilson, Alex Jackson, Alf Young, Ken Willingham, Bill McGarry and a host of others knocking on the door.
Who would you have in Town’s best XI? Let us know in the comments.
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